


Weight

by smeeshii



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Brotp Roxy and Eggsy, F/M, Fix-It, Harry Lives, Hartwin, Like smouldering, M/M, Merlin has secrets, Percival has more secrets, Roxlin - Freeform, Slow Burn, dogs make things better, new/old injuries, things continue to go tits up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-20 22:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4805030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smeeshii/pseuds/smeeshii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the wake of V-Day, Kingsman pulls back in order to right itself and to some damage control. A few agents short with a mess to clean up internally, things become even more chaotic when a simple retrieval mission goes awry and lets loose an even larger number of problems.</p>
<p>Ever the expert observer, Roxy can see right through everyone, or so she thinks. Slowly she begins to realize and respect how dependent the organization is on it's resident tech expert. Eggsy frets over where his place will be within it, while thrown for a loop emotionally.</p>
<p>All Merlin wants is a smoke and his workplace put back together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Smoke

**Author's Note:**

> Well hello there, hopeful readers!  
> Look at me all brand spankin' new on here!  
> So this story I intend to carry on a while, I've got it mapped out to be rather long. It'll be primarily Roxlin focused with spurts of Hartwin sprinkled throughout.  
> Gonna burn so slow, hehehe.  
> I'd really love to see some constructive comments, guesses and more. :)  
> If you're interested in some funny posts, some of which are Kingsman related, come follow me on tumblr! Its the best way to interact with me!  
> neeshiii.tumblr.com  
> Thanks for reading!

_Cheeky bastard..._

  
While the rest of the world slowly shook itself from the stupor left by the two minutes of mayhem that Richmond Valentine had managed to unleash, clean-up was being called upon for the Siberian lair painted with the brightly coloured juices of hundreds of world leaders' brains.

  
While the clean-up crew had been notified and was in the process of reaching the rainbow-gore-fest that was the cave, one particularly peeved technical operations expert completed a sweep of the maze of tunnels to make sure that they were clear of any threats.

  
While a certain cheeky bastard was ball-deep in pale, Scandinavian behind, another particularly peeved and very cold agent sat stranded atop another mountain.

  
\---

The lighthearted relief of saving humanity from a violent end soon settled into tension aboard the Kingsman issued air plane, broken only briefly upon retrieving a very irritated, shivering Lancelot. Once bundled up in a thermal blanket, Roxy huddled into a corner of the plane's plush seating and chatted on with Eggsy, who settled in a spot across from her. He enthusiastically gave her a play by play of how his final fight with the sharp-legged Gazelle had gone. His hands flailed animatedly as he described every punch, kick and step.

The whole story was delivered with such energy that in another circumstance, she may have believed he was yammering about how he'd passed a training exam. However, the thick weight of what had actually transpired around his incredible fight lay heavy over them. Roxy Morton had always been able to ready people easily, it was how she'd picked up on her friend's soft centre past the abrasive front he'd put up upon their first meeting in the training dorm.

Just like then, she could see past the excitable way he spoke. She could pick up the soft waver in his voice when he told her how he'd clicked his heels and sliced through the assassin's arm, thus infecting her with neurotoxin. She could see the slight tremor in his hands, something she guessed he was attempting to hide with his movements.

“You woulda been impressed, Rox. I swear I pulled off the most acrobatic shit since I was in gymnastics. Gonna be sore as 'ell tomorrow,” he rambled. “I hope Merlin keeps that recordin' so you c'n see it. I want it on DVD.”

He glanced towards the cockpit door hopefully.

After picking Roxy up out of the snow, the two had sent her into the loo to change into warmer clothes. Merlin had all but shoved two thermal blankets at her and told them to get some rest before he'd gone into the cockpit and shut the door. Neither had attempted to draw him out after, certain that he was busy ordering about the clean-up crew and whoever answered at headquarters.

“I hope he did too,” Roxy said with a small smile and a shiver. “I'm sure we'll be able to ask when things settle down a bit. For now, all I really want is a cup of tea, you?”

“Nah.” He waved her off and cleared his throat. “I'm, uh, gonna freshen up an' change, then try an' rest before we land.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea. I think I may too, after.”

The two of them stood and walked to the back of the plane, Eggsy for the washroom and bunk in the very back and Roxy for the kitchenette. Before he could make it passed her, she caught his elbow. They met eyes and Eggsy realized she could see through him, and gave a soft, shaky laugh.

“'m alright, Rox. Promise.” he said quietly.

“You're lying, but I'll let it go.” Her voice softened a bit. “You.. We'll talk about it later, yeah?”

He nodded and pulled her in for a side hug. “Yeah. Just.. Just when I get me head on straight.”

“Alright. Go on and get some sleep.”

Letting go, she watched him duck into the washroom. The door clicked closed and she sighed, filling a small kettle to boil. She was certain that Eggsy was beginning to let the last twenty-four hours sink in. Between killing Arthur and literally saving the world, it would be a lot to take.

And then there was Harry.

The catalyst to the whole damn thing, the driving force behind all of Eggsy's bravery and will. Harry, who was lying on the pavement outside a church of rotting bigots. Who's death was about to truly hit Eggsy and absolutely wreck him.

The kettle whistled and Roxy collected two mugs. She fixed one with a splash of milk and another with just a bit of lemon. Throwing the blanket over one arm, she carried the two mugs towards the cockpit and knocked with the toe of her slipper. The lock clicked and she toed the door open.

Inside, the air purification system hummed softly, drawing the smell of smoke from the air. Roxy wrinkled her nose as she nudged the door shut with her foot and set the mug with milk on the small counter at the dash. Sitting in the co-pilot's chair, she pulled her blanket around herself and listened to the ending of the conversation Merlin was trudging through.

“... No, still no word... He's the only one still out of country, other than Lancelot and I. I want everyone else reporting to headquarters as soon as possible so we can work out damage control... Aye, lock down. Only authorized personnel, through entrance J-2... Just.. Just have it cleaned up by the time I get back. Merlin, signing off.”

Tapping the corner of his glasses before taking them off, Merlin ran a hand over his face with a heavy sigh, fingers stalling over his mouth so he could take a strong drag of the cigarette between them. He blew the smoke to the side and his eyes landed on the steaming mug in front of him.

“Thank you, Lancelot.”

Roxy merely nodded, chewing her lip at the use of her codename, even in a less professional situation. She'd barely been Lancelot for forty-eight hours and yet it seemed that her first name was practically forgotten.

“How bad is it at headquarters?” she asked hesitantly.

“Honestly? We're walking into a mess.” he said, tapping a few keys on the dash with one hand.

The windshield of the plane became dark, then the pictures of each of the knights flickered over the black. Roxy counted each of them and their status. So far, two dead, their pictures ringed with red. Tristan and, she noted with a soft pang of sadness, Galahad. Everyone else seemed to be alright, all vitals seemed fine. Then her eyes found one surrounded by orange.

“Percival is offline?”

“Aye. He has been since we dropped you off to disable the satellite.” Merlin said.

“He was in the United States when I last talked to him, he was finishing up something in West Virginia.” she said, worry creasing her brow.

“He finished not long after. He was meant to fly back as soon as possible, but... I asked if he'd perform a retrieval.”  
Harry.

Roxy wasn't particularly surprised that her mentor and uncle would have agreed to the request. Alastair Stansfield had always spoken fondly of Harry. Even as a child, she recalled the occasional mention of a friendly tailor that shared business with his 'shoe shoppe' and all funny stories they swapped.

“He's undercover still then, that's why he's offline. Have you made any contact at all with him since you asked?”

“Not yet, but orange is better than red on this screen.”

She nodded in agreement.

“What's the situation at headquarters?” she asked reluctantly.

“That's where the bigger mess lies.” Merlin mumbled. “For the most part, the staff ditched their SIM cards when we started investigating Valentine. Unfortunately, all of the SIM cards they had were sent to the labs for my team to process.”

Roxy's eyes widened and she swallowed. “Oh no, they were exposed to all of it?”

“Only the first moment or so. There was a tiny break where they were able to get out of the lab and lock it down. I lost three, four more are in the infirmary,” he said, lips pursing with what she could only guess was sadness or pity. “The lab is a disaster, but my office is a whole other mess.”

“Your office?”

“Tristan was apparently of the same mind as Arthur. He'd planned to use my office as a bunker while the world went to shit. Bors found him in my chair. Also apparently, he somehow managed to disable the wireless reinforcements set up around the tech division in order to send and receive messages on an unmarked mobile. His mistake allowed the transmission to his implant. Now I've got his brains blown across my entire set up.”

Roxy grimaced and shuddered. If it'd been a different situation, the disgusted, forlorn look on the man's face at the idea of his ruined hardware could have been funny.

“That's sick, I don't envy whoever you have cleaning that up.”

He nodded and sucked one last drag from his smoke, then stubbed it out in a crystal ashtray at his side. Slumping back into the seat, he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“When we land, you and Eggsy are to go to the private rooms and get a rest. The moment we touch down, you'll have exactly six hours to bathe, eat and sleep. Then I want you in my office or wherever else I call for you.”

“What about you?”

The bald man looked at her with a surprised frown. “I'll be taking my six once I have everyone accounted for and have a hand on the situation. I have to assign a few handlers, then get the other agents out where they're needed most.”

“Just... make sure you actually do get a rest.”

He eyed her suspiciously, then nodded. He keyed in a few commands and the windshield became clear again. Things ebbed into silence, the air purification system shutting off with no more smoke in the air. As they flew, Roxy slowly began to doze in her seat and Merlin sipped his tea, sending off commands on his tablet.

A mess ahead of them indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy is having a rather rough time as things start to set in.  
> Roxy is there to settle him down for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the wait everyone!  
> I actually intended this chapter to be a little longer, but I ended up splitting it up a bit. Good cliffhanger?  
> Some of you may have noticed I tweaked my username, my tumblr will remain the same as neeshiii thought.  
> Also, more tags!
> 
> Also, thank you guys again for reading!

Kingsman certainly knew how to outfit an air plane. From the upholstery to the well stocked bar, money was no object. 

This was one upside to the now complete mission in Eggsy's mind. It meant that the bunks in the back room of the cabin were more comfortable than any of the places he'd slept in growing up. After his interaction with Roxy, he'd used the loo, changed into more comfortable clothing and hoisted himself into one of the top bunks. With the lights dimmed and a soft mattress beneath him, he could finally rest.

Or he would, if his mind wasn't crashing down around him.

The moment he'd gotten to the shop and found Arthur, Eggsy had been thrown into the action. All the emotion from the mission and beforehand had been shut into a box at the back of his mind. It wasn't unusual, walling up pain had been something he'd learned to do very well with Dean as a step father. He went totally numb until it was safe to let things out. Usually once Dean had passed out and left for the pub, while he was holed up in his closet or the corner of his room.

He supposed, as his breath began to stagger and his chest began to heave, that the tight space of the bunk was close enough to the tiny space of his closet. It was dark and warm, not nearly as stuffy and it didn't smell of dust and stale cologne, but damn near the same.

Eggsy was also no stranger to panic attacks, though he hadn't suffered one in years. He'd known this one was coming from the moment he'd begun to follow Merlin back to the plane. As the man had prattled on about having a crew on the way to clean up and that Roxy was rather peeved that they'd left her stranded, he'd felt the weighty clenching in his chest and back that signalled what was soon to come. He'd wrapped the numbness he'd come to rely on so tightly around himself, willing himself able to keep it together until he was alone in the little bunk.

His hands ran through his hair shakily, gripping it as he gasped like a fish out of water. His fingers were tight, as if holding onto the last bit of stability he had in him at the moment. His chest was already throbbing and tears welled at the corners of his eyes before sliding down his temples into his ears and hair.

The world is safe. Daisy and mum, safe. Harry's dead.

Harry's dead.

Eggsy let out a hitching moan, lips trembling and open, before clamping back shut.

That's what it all came back to, what started all of this. A single gunshot in the arid air of Kentucky was what set everything all in motion. It's what had sent him back to the tailor shop, into the room with the Arthur. What fuelled the absolute rage inside of him when he saw the scar on the old man's withered, spotty fucking neck. 

Eggsy had always thought that everything happened for a reason, but this was too big a pill to swallow. He wouldn't have even though to do any of this if Harry hadn't died. He would have sat in that house among the framed insects and silver plates, under the cold gaze of Mr. Pickle until Harry had returned to berate him while the world went tits up.

He wasn't sure if he could even enjoy the fact that he'd helped save the fucking world now that Harry Hart wasn't in it.

-

It felt like ages before they reached headquarters. Once the plane was back in the hanger and the door opened, the three were greeted by all but two of the re remaining knights, offering hand shakes and congratulations of a job well done. They then looked to Merlin, expecting instruction.

The bald man stared back, taking a deep breath.

“The agency is on lock down until further notice. By now you should have all checked on your family, no exit until I've got this place swept for any other internal threats. I'll need your help on this effective immediately, procedure November-Juliet-006. I have a department to touch base with, meet back in the conference room in one hour.”

The agents nodded and began to disperse. Merlin then turned to Eggsy and Roxy. 

“My earlier order still stands for you both. No assignment for six hours, go to the upper rooms and have something brought up to eat, then sleep. I'll send word through the comms and tell you where to find me after that.”

Roxy nodded, having heard the order, Eggsy seemed to shift on his feet, but nodded as well. They followed Merlin through the halls back from the hanger and then split from him at a lift up to the mansion. The ride was quiet and when they arrived in the hall of available private rooms, only a gentle squeeze of each other's hands was exchanged.

With the door shut, Roxy gave an exhausted sigh and managed to admire the luxurious room for a whole minute before she headed straight into the bathroom. The private rooms were essentially like bachelor flats without full kitchens. Each had large floor to ceiling windows with translucent white curtains and black-out blinds, a four-poster bed, a small sitting area with a plush lounge, chair and television, a small bistro sized table with two chairs and a small counter with cabinets and a kettle, bookshelf and dresser, and a full bathroom. 

She made a short stop to grab the trainee pants and shirt from the dresser, laid out prior to her arrival. Then she opened the door to the large bathroom and began to run the shower. After a quick call for food to be delivered up as she stripped down, she stepped into the hot water and practically plopped down onto the narrow seat inside. Even after being swaddled up in thermal blankets for hours, she could still feel the cold in her bones. 

It took will power to take the small bottles of shampoo and conditioner and go through washing her hair. The then soap and her body. She wasn't nearly as dirty as she assumed Eggsy was, but it felt good to have fresh skin. When she realized she could waste no more time before her food would arrive, she reluctantly shut off the water and pulled herself out of the shower. The towels in the private rooms were much fluffier than the ones from training, something insignificant she wouldn't miss. After lazily drying off and slipping into her clothes, she exited the bathroom just as there was a knock at her door. 

What Roxy was expecting to see was her meal, what she hadn't expected was Eggsy, showered and dressed much the same, delivering it.

“Hey, Rox,” he said softly, looking just as worn as she felt if not more so. “I, uh, thought we could eat? If you're not too tired.”

She instantly stepped aside for him to push in the small metal cart. “I am tired, but I think sitting and eating would be nice.” she said, offering a small smile.

He managed one back and headed for the table, making busy by setting out the covered dishes and cutlery. She sat down and wrinkled her nose teasingly at the way he went about settling up the plates like they had in the etiquette portion of their training.

“Really, Eggsy, I don't think either of us are alert enough to use any of the extra forks.”

He looked surprised, having not realized what he'd done, and let out a small laugh.

“Habit now, I 'spose. Gotta set up nice for a posh bird like you, Rox,” he teased back, earning a small swat on his wrist.

“Oh sh, just sit and eat.”

The two made themselves comfortable before opening their covered dishes. While the food eaten during training had been sound in a dietary sense, it had still been good quality food. Better than most of what Eggsy had eaten during his childhood and an average meal for Roxy. To expect anything less being sent up to the private rooms would have been preposterous. They tucked into plates of roasted chicken, lightly steamed green beans with Parmesan, small bowls of vegetable soup, warm biscuits and another set of bowls filled with fresh berries and sugar. With so much excitement, they'd both gone hours without eating and hadn't realized how hungry they were. Both trays were cleared with light conversation before they knew it. 

Full, exhaustion seemed to set in on them both, Roxy stretching and yawning. While Eggsy was indeed ready to sleep, nerves slithered up into his chest. He certainly didn't want to be left alone with his thoughts and risk another panic attack. Chewing his lip, he leaned forward in his seat and took a slow breath in and out.

“Rox, can I... can I ask you a favor?”

She blinked in surprise and nodded. “Of course, Eggsy.”

“I.. I know I agreed t' talk.. I ain't totally ready yet. I got a lot o' shit to work through, but.. I ain't ready to deal wif it either. I just.. I don't want to be alone where I can get all tangled up in me head, right?” he rambled out, wringing his hands.

Roxy was quiet a moment, watching the tremor in her friend's hands. He was all torn up and putting off an inevitable break down, but how could she deny him one of the only comforts in all of Kingman HQ? He needed a reassuring presence in place of the one he'd lost.

“Come on, Eggsy, let's get to bed. We'll put out the dishes later.” 

She stood and went to the closet, pulling out the extra pillows and blankets for him. He watched in surprise as she arranged the bed, creating a buffer of pillows down the centre with enough blankets on either side. She claimed one half of the bed and looked at him expectantly. 

“The sofa is too short for your legs and I think we both deserve a good mattress, right? Just don't get upset if I end up kicking you.”

Eggsy sat dumbfounded for a moment, then stood and wrapped himself up in the bed, shutting out the light. 

“Thanks Rox, I really mean it,” he said quietly. “I don't think I could sleep otherwise.”

“It's alright, really. I don't think I'm ready to sleep without being surrounded by bunkmates just yet.” she said lightly. “I... Just know, I'm here, Eggsy. Whenever you are ready. Things are going to get hard and you'll need someone to help.”

He thanked the heavens that the room was dark so she wouldn't see him wiping his face on the blankets, thought he knew from the waver in his voice that he was attempting to keep himself together.

“I.. I don't know how I'll deal wiff all this, Rox,” he began quietly. “You 'eard Merlin on the plane, the world is still in a shot storm. So many people is dead, important people, An'.. An; what am I gonna do?”

A hand come from the other side of the bed to squeeze his shoulder. 

“Eggsy, we'll be busy for a while cleaning that mess up. We'll just follow orders and-”

“Rox, you'll follow orders. Not me.” he interrupted her.

He heard the rustle of the blankets and saw the outline of her sitting up on her elbows. “What do you mean, not you?”

Eggsy sighed and ran his hands over his face. “I didn't pass training. I failed the last text, couldn't shoot JB. I ain't an agent, I don't see 'ow I can help.”

The hand returned, this time grasping his wrist firmly. “Eggsy, don't say that. You just saved the entire world, there's no way in hell Merlin would turn you away now.”

“Merlin might not, but what about the other knights?”

“I highly doubt they'd want to lose an asset like you. Eggsy, you just saved all of us.” Roxy said confidently. “And as far as I can tell, everyone is taking orders from Merlin for now with Arthur gone. He won't let them turn you away.”

“I.. I really hope so, Rox. I don't think I could go back home an' sit still,” he said, putting a hand on hers and squeezing back.

“Eggsy, I don't think I've ever seen you sit still.”

The two laughed, enjoying the brief moment of reprieve from what was to come. They settled in quietly after that, exhaustion pulling them back into well deserved sleep.

-

It was nearly five hours later that the two sleepy agents had climbed out of bed and dressed in clean siren suits that had been set outside their doors. After a short breakfast, they made their way down to the tech department to find Merlin. They found bio hazard tape across the door of the main lab and the tech head's office, something Roxy explained to a very disgusted Eggsy. With few other options, they headed to the briefing room.

Both were surprised to hear a voice beckoning them in when they knocked. Arthur's body had been cleared out, but now the long table was nearly filled with computer monitors at one end. The bald man in question was sitting among them with an over-sized thermos of coffee at his elbow. He looked up when they entered and finished a call while they sat. 

"I've got news," he said with purpose. "I received a transmission from Percival from Kentucky."


End file.
